Horrible Inventions

Here are some stupid inventions that never quite caught on.

Fart Gum

Why the hell would anyone want a fart to come from their mouth? That's just retarded, I mean farts that come from your ass are bad enough. Does it make your breath smell like a big butt explosion too? I guess you'd be talking a lot of shit.

The Little Wizzer alcohol dispenser

I can't imagine why anyone would wanna drink something that can from a weiner, real or not. It's like drinking piss and depending on the beverage you select might taste like it too. I find it a little creepy that it looks like a child. I mean WTF thats fucked up. Is it being marketed to cho-moes?

Remote Controlled Lawn Mower

Why the hell would anyone want to pretend to mow their lawn. Mowing fucking blows. You know your boring and have no friends when the only thing you have to do is mow. Your a lazy son of a bitch too, you can't even put pants on and actually go do it. Why's the dad floating on a hovercraft thing? They don't have that shit yet, and if they did you'd have a robot to be your bitch and mow your lawn.

Death Of Pringles Can Inventor

The inventor of the Pringles can Fredric Baur's ashes were buried in one upon his death. Which makes me wonder what can was he buried in? Was it a plan original or was it a hot and fiery pizza flavor? I think it would show what his friends and family thought about it him. Did it say douche or most awesome mother fucker ever?

Boredom

Have you ever been so bored you just sit for hours and do nothing? Nothing sounds fun you, couldn't find entertainment to save your life. The internet is just so boring even youtube and facebook just seem so mundane. Your half tempted to go pee on an electric fence just for something to do. Well I've been there as a matter of fact that's why I'm writing this post. So lets try to think of some things to do.

1. Spin around in circles and see if you can walk down a flight of stairs.
2. See how many times you can yell penis in Wal-Mart before they kick you out.
3. See who's fastest in a race in the motorized shopping carts.
4. Pitch a tent in Wal-Mart and I don't mean in the sporting goods section.
5. See how many times you can say what in a drive thru before they tell you too fuck off.
6. Grab a shopping cart select one grape and pay for it. Not in the express lane either.
7. Walk backwards yelling I'm out of control.
8. In the middle of class walk out of the room and come talk yelling about how great Narnia was.
9. Be way to happy for no reason.
10. Walk up to a random van screaming where my fucking candy!?

So that's what I got. if you have any just comment them and I'll put them in.

Ladies And Gentelmen

Pickles... that is all.

What Happened To MTV?

Does anyone know what the hell happened to MTV? I thought they were music television, not fake reality tv, dumb drama, and completely stupid irrelevant shows, or FRDDCSITV. Well that's to long not as catchy as MTV. It almost seems like false advertising to call it MTV anymore. Do they actually show music videos besides between 2 and 10 AM? I'm no expert but I think most people don't watch TV at 3 in the morning. Unless they got the munchies. MTV was enormously popular when it came out because they were actually music television. I don't even watch it anymore either there's just completely retarded shows I will never want to watch, or re-runs I've seen a million times. Can we please have our MTV back?

Belly Button Lint

Where does belly button lint come from? I mean I know I don't have any loose strands or pre-existing lint. So where the hell does it come from? Are there little belly button trolls living in there or some shit, who's sole purpose is to make lint to fuck with me on a near daily basis? Maybe there's belly button gnomes too. They hate the trolls because they moved from the corn hole to the belly button to escape the smell. And they were bigger and stronger than the gnomes so they pushed them into the back of the belly button. Who knows maybe one day the gnomes will say this is enough of this bullshit and they'll start to retaliate. Then there will be a little 300 going on in my belly. I mean really it doesn't make any sense that it just appears out of nowhere. Is my belly button a time vortex into a parallel dimension? Fuck now I'm scared to get that lint out. I don't want my finger to start getting sucked in, then when I disappear people will ask how did he die? Everyone will say he got ate by his belly button. What kind of pussy gets ate by their belly button? That doesn't even make any sense. So if anyone's got any insight please comment.

It's A Winter Wonderland

My car likes the snow and my lights look cool